Tell me you're in a spiritual closet, without telling me you're in a spiritual closet. I'll go first...
Them: "How did you know that?"
Me: "I just 'knew'"
Them: "But how did you know?"
Me: "I, I, I must have been told by someone or read it in a book" *sigh*
If your spirituality and belief system is really sacred and wonderful to you, but through the fear of being 'seen', you've locked yourself away, it can cause a level of spiritual pain. This in turn affects your overall wellbeing.
I've always been deeply connected to a loving and higher power. I've known things about life from a young age that no-one taught me. But I've always kept it secret. In my inner world. And back then it was ok for me. I don't think it was necessarily the best way for me to be, but it wasn't too bad It wasn't creating a problem. Plus I had no one around me (or didn't know I did) I could talk to and share things with - other than the odd good friend that would 'spot' things I did. Even I would dismiss things as 'an overactive imagination' (sometimes things were!) or coincidence. My ego (my conscious, rational mind) fought my soul's inner wisdom so much I was fighting a battle within 🙈.
Then when I was 20, I experienced a few events that were so profound they knocked me off my feet. But I couldn't share my true knowledge and feelings with anyone. That created a lot of spiritual pain for me. It was the beginning of my awakening. Life carried on but I carried this truck of spiritual knowledge & pain in my heart every single day. I was me. Rachael, the driven, fun-loving, social, hard working Capricorn. But I wasn't truly ME. I didn't feel the World would welcome me fully.
When the Universe turned my life upside down in 2011, I was forced to go on a deep self care for healthcare journey and to be able to do that, I had to go deep into the depths of my soul. To acknowledge parts of me I had shut in a closet. I thankfully found a therapist who spotted straight away I was hiding in a spiritual closet and she so softly and gently began to prompt me to share my beliefs with her. This started to release some of the spiritual pain I had hidden in plain sight. She simply held space as I said some of my truth out loud, without judgement. It was so healing. Not once did she push her beliefs on me. Not once did she tell me how to be spiritual or what it meant. She allowed me to BE spiritual on my terms. She was amazing and I am so grateful she was sent to support my own path.
2016, I went through an even deeper awakening. This time I went though an awakening to the Divine. I became connected to that Divine loving energy. I began to trust it and myself. My soul mission was flung in my face and I was dragged out of bed to 'wake up' and begin what I was born to do. It took a while for me to truly 100% know when my ego was leading to when my soul was guiding. But now I am fully aware when I am being asked to step up, slow down, take a turn or just be, versus my own ego desires (which isn't bad by the way. Our role is to soften the ego, respect it and become friends - not get rid of it. Our ego is what makes us Human Beings).
So here I am. I am fully out of the closet in my sacred space, with my Husband and closest spiritual friends. But it goes without saying there are times I retreat back in. And of course times where my beliefs are simply not serving anyone in that moment. So I thought I'd share just a couple of tips around coming out of the closet when you're ready and led by your soul NOT your ego.
💚 Before stepping out, you need to have FULLY accepted yourself. All of you. So begin with inner work (self love, self care etc...) before thinking about it. You're going to need it - how do you expect others to accept you if you don't accept yourself?
💚 Find your inner circle. This one is a biggie. You may have people in your life who you love dearly. But they may not be on a spiritual path, it may be surface level or just 'open' to things (this is good by the way) or they may be spiritual but unable to accept any other belief than their own. When you come out of the closet, your circle and its dynamics will change. You will need to find other spiritual souls to be able to be fully yourself around. It's important you have that or you are spending more time in the closet (not being you self) than you are out of it.
💚 Let others love you for who you are. If they don't and cannot accept you unconditionally then love them at a distance.
💚 Find a spiritual teacher, coach or therapist (like me 😜)
💚 Begin a regular home yoga practice. One of the easiest ways to begin or maintain union within yourself and with a higher power. A home yoga practice allows you to follow your inner guidance in that moment. Group classes are amazing, but a home practice allows you to go deeper. Mixing the two is wonderful as community and teachings are vital on this path.
💚 Create a sacred space in your home. Even if it's on your window ledge!
💚 Know the difference between hiding in the closet and being respectful of others & your surroundings. For example, whilst I am very spiritual, I have a massive respect for science & medicine (I actually see how they work together in unity 🙏🏽 ). If I was attending a medical conference, and there was nothing on the schedule around spiritual health, I would be respectful of that (I wouldn't tolerate belittling of spirituality though in any setting). I would speak to others from my heart & my ego. My spirituality would stay in the closet. Temporarily of course 😉. There are times to step up and times to allow others to speak. knowing how to balance this is important. (Oh, and hitting people with spiritual 'truths' when they haven't asked you to is ego driven, not soul led and not love. Know the difference.)
If you're in the spiritual closet and want to work through your inner, true self, I can help you with that! I offer a self study online programme called 'ZenLife', along with various 1:1 sessions, education and yoga as a psychospiritual experience. Sign up here to join my eSoul Family (email list) where I share more knowledge & wisdom, along with exclusive offers.
Or, you can book a free consultation with me here.
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