Updated: Aug 9, 2019
I didn’t know if I was going to share this photo. But I feel it’s important. Important for the yoga community, important for the body positivity movement , for self love work and for wellness. Despite never having the ‘prefect’ body, I have always been happy in my own skin, not obsessed with diets and a big believer that you can’t tell what someone’s true health is just by looking at their weight (fat or thin).
Pre-spinal surgery and health complications I was a very fit and healthy girl. I slept well, very very rarely felt stressed, had a healthy relationship with food (I do like the odd chocolate binge though but I know a lot of ladies who have that too 😜) and a great social life. But I was never ‘thin’ - and that’s ok. It didn’t rule my life thankfully. When I became ill I lost a lot of weight. I thought I’d capitalise on this sudden weight loss and, for the 1st time, join a dieting group. As you can imagine, the weight continued to drop off me (but it was because I was going through trauma!). I was constantly told how ‘healthy’ I looked and how amazing I was looking following the 2 stone weight loss. I must admit. I liked it! However, looking back, I had never in my life been so poorly and in pain (both physically and emotionally). Yet, I was being told how amazingly healthy I looked just because I’d lost weight.
Despite the fact I live with a health condition, I am a very healthy woman. I don’t drink or smoke, very little caffeine, I very rarely drink fizzy drinks, I walk as much as my health allows me to and I take great care of my mental wellbeing. Yet I have piled on the pounds since coming back into balance after the physical trauma I went through. I must stress I am NOT perfect, but I am healthy. Yet, I am now overweight. And for the 1st time ever, I saw this lovely photo my hubby took of me whilst on retreat, and I cried. I cried because I couldn’t bear to look at my body. I cried because I’d come to the realisation that, I had let the opinions of others finally penetrate my own feelings towards myself. And this meant I had work to do. And that’s ok - I have and I will continue to. We are all allowed a wobble.
I have to say that since becoming a big part of the yoga community and now a teacher, my relationship with the love of my body has changed. When I’m teaching it doesn’t even cross my mind. But, I’ve seen the way some people look at my body when they find out I’m a yoga teacher. The looks ‘up and down’ my body and shock on the face when I say ‘I’m a